She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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