So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
