She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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