the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
