So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
