So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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