I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
