Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
