Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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