The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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