Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
