You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
