Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
