i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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