i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just puked most of my soul out..
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