pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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