He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
