she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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