does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
