good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
