so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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