you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
