so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Randomize
