do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
