we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
