handjob tips. give me some.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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