so that wasnt chicken after all
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
