so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
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