Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Sober January is a disaster.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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