Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
