FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
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