you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
