i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
