i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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