Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
