You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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