what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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