Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
