summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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