Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
