she was so not down for the gang bang
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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