This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
