Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
