Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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