listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
