He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
