i barfeds in our rink
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
