Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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