If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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