Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I love having hate sex.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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