nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
