Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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