I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
