as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
