her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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