haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
